We Teach People How To Treat Us…OUCH!

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System Add comments


Are you in relationships, even one, that never cease to be frustrating, confusing, drama-packed, toxic or abusive in any way?

Do you walk away from some people feeling like you never want to talk to them again?

If it’s acquaintances, co-workers, or friends, you can let them go or change jobs, but when it’s family, it’s much harder to deal with.

Having just come out of the holiday season you may of experienced some of this for sure, but unfortunately may deal with it more often throughout the year, or live with it/them. Sorry.

I can guess you’ve talked to them and asked them to change, shared your feelings, maybe cried, screamed or threatened if they don’t change. But they don’t. And, most likely, banning a miracle, they won’t.


So, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but yes, it’s true. We teach people how to treat us. Let that sink in for a moment.

Start being more conscious of how you communicate (or don’t communicate – which of course is communicating) your needs, wants, desires, etc. This whole deal implies that you actually must know who you are and what you want.

Do you know what you want? Most people don’t really know themselves and what they want so “settle” for what they’ve got.

You have to know what you want. What you don’t want. What you’re unwilling to settle for. What is ENOUGH! YOU have to decide these things for yourself.

You also must understand that when you get clear about what you want and communicate it, your someone, and lots of someones, are not going to like it.

As I teach all my audiences, there’s a saying for this, it is “Oh, well!” Yes, “Oh, well!”  Time keeps moving by, life is short and at some point you need to draw a line in the sand and live your life, and, some people will absolutely not like it! You are shaking up the status quo and their old habits, conditioning and patterns. “Oh, well!”

So, the next time you feel guilty, angry, hurt, slighted, taken advantage of, etc. see how you have taught that person to treat you that way. See if you can adjust your behaviors, actions and communication to be treated the way you want to be treated… even when they don’t like it.

Reality is, you may never get what you want from them, but you can detach enough to free yourself from feeling stressed and reacting to their craziness, which is very good for you.

Kim, “Dr. DeClutter”

Get more ideas for self-help. I am host of Formulas For Freedom radio show. Listen to past programs here: http://www.formulasforfreedom.com/radio-show/


If you need one-one-one help to strengthen your personal/life/decision making skills, I will work with you by phone. Find out more here:

Ticket To Shift – Priority Coach . . . . . (Tele-coaching)

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