DrDeClutterBlog.com

In order to stay sane (and create less stress and chaos), it’s important to learn when to say no.

There are only so many hours in a day, no matter who you are or how much money you have. 24 hours, period.

You can practice by saying no today to:

• phone calls asking for money or your time (ask that they take you off their call list too by the way!)
• committees needing your great skills and awesome disposition
• getting of mailings
• not being what I call “user-friendly”, taking care of everyone but yourself first

Choose what you will be involved in and schedule yourself in. Then stop.

Practice clearly and kindly setting your boundaries with effective assertive communication like, “Thanks for asking, however I’m already committed (or scheduled) in. Great success with your project and I’ll pass on your information to others I might know who’d be interested.”

In the end, a ”good no” is to:

  - Be clear.
  - Be kind.
  - Be helpful. And,
  - Be gracious.

Be a awesome human-BE-ing to yourself first, then to others, you will give much more in the long run.

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Maybe Dave needed to be way more clear from the start about WHEN he was doing all this womanizing! If it was before his child and marriage, so what?

As celebs go, he’ll deal with it and work on it with his wife.

Who’s business is it anyway? Show business?!

What “dirty laundry” do you have that you’d rather not see on the line. Being honest with ourselves daily means not setting ourselves up for chaos in the first place. Pretty hard for humans-being!

Ooooh, great heels, Martha!!

An article in my local paper today says that The OUR Center’s hospitality center, kitchen and pantry needs items. I’m sure your local shelters and food banks need supplies and help too!

Declutter your pantry, closets, drawers, garage shelves, etc. and you may find plenty of overstock to share, like: coffee mugs, napkins, toilet tissue, plastic baggies, dry erase and permanent markers, stainless steel spoons and forks, packing tape, paper towels, towels and trash bags.

Their day shelter needs rain ponchos, shaving cream and razors, toothpaste and toothbrushes, feminine hygiene products and deodorant.

The center’s clothing bank needs gloves, plastic and vinyl tarps, socks, sleeping bags and large trash bags too.

The food banks can use food, but also your physical help to sort and stack items.

Dollar type and buy-bulk stores are great places to get a big bang for your buck to take new to these needy places as well.

In other words, jump in and help out as you can each month. Others will be very grateful.

I recently answered a Craigslist Personals ad to meet a man.  The only one in that couple of days that seemed remotely ”a match” was a guy who said he was 58, 5′10″, bla, bla. Most of it sounded okay, so we met at a coffee shop.

Okay. Peeeople! Palleeeeease. Take off your shoes. Stand back flat to the wall. Make a pencil mark above your head on the wall. Measure from floor to the mark.

Bless his heart, but Mr. I’m 5′ 10″ who was so very proud of himself that he’d kept his high school “girlish” figure (that alone made me not want to be with him, he said “girlish figure” several times. Argh!) was shorter than me, and I’m 5′ 7″.

He’d shrunk. And, since he’s a guy, which means he probably hasn’t been to the doctor’s office like we women go pretty annually and gotten measured since he was 30!, he was pretty sure he was still 5′ 10″.

Not my only turn off (remember “girlish figure?”) but it was glaring.

Just a suggestion: When putting your ad out for dating after 50, measure twice, advertise once. I’m just sayin’.

How many times would like NOT to say, “Have you done your homework?” this year?

No one is exempt from learning life-skills in youth. But, if children aren’t supported and taught how to do the doing of what you want them to learn the right way, how will they learn?!

Creating daily, on the clock and expected routines for schoolwork is a must to help your children win this year.

1. Establish a “tight schoolwork routine” as soon as school starts so that everyone knows what to expect and will feel great about getting homework done and relaxed for school the next day.

2. Create “homework time” that is met consistently by the student and by you the parent, should they need help.

3. Create a ”homework zone” where everything the child needs is available to sit and study: chair, desk or table, good lighting, quiet, undisturbed, materials needed.

4. Create your availability to help with any questions that arrise that they need help with. Make it easy and okay for them to ask questions about their homework. Even if you don’t know the answer, and say, “I don’t know,” it’s okay. Help them understand how to find the answer.

When left in a sun drenched car, a pet is in torture, so easily avoided. Too many pets are lost to heat stroke each summer, when it can be prevented easily.

Unlike people, your dog’s normal body temperature ranges between 100 and 102.5 degrees F. When body temperature elevates above 106 F, normal cooling mechanisms are overwhelmed and fail, resulting in a serious condition requiring intervention and medical treatment.

Dogs don’t sweat - that’s why they pant. Your dog can suffer a mild to moderate temperature increase called heat stress/prostration (103 to 105 F) to a potentially life threatening condition referred to as heat stroke (106 F and higher). Certain breeds are more prone to heat injury than others.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING
Heat stress can happen quite rapidly, sometimes only in a few minutes, especially in dogs that live primarily indoors. Even pets that live or spend a lot of time outside can succumb to the heat if their cooling mechanisms are exceeded by weather extremes.

PREVENT HEAT STROKE
1. Clip/cut long haired dogs.

2. In the heat of midday, keep your dog indoors in either air conditioning or in a well-ventilated area with circulating fans.

3. If you have a pet that enjoys water, keeping a small pool of water outside provides a fun and cooling environment:  just enough water to play in but not over your dog’s head. No pool? - spray from a hose or a sprinkler will help.

4. Keep clean, cool water for drinking.

5. Limit exercise time. Limit vigorous exercise to early morning and after sunset or eliminate long walks/jogs until the weather cools.

6. Extra note: Remember that dogs can burn the pads of their feet on hot pavement.

7. Don’t forget that any dog left outside in summer weather needs shade, shelter, food and fresh water.

8. Never leave your dog in a car. Your car can reach 120 F in minutes, even on a cool day with the windows open, exceeding your dog’s cooling capacity in no time.

9. Be aware that the outside temperature may actually be warmer than what the thermometer reads. The heat index, a measure of the temperature and relative humidity, makes it more difficult for a body to cool down by perspiration. A temperature of 85 F can actually feel closer to 100 F (or higher) depending on the index.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR DOG IS OVERHEATED
1. Cool your dog with tepid water; do not use cold water as it can shock their system.

2. A fan will help to cool and circulate air.

3. Call your veterinarian immediately, even if your pet seems to have recovered.

PETS CAN SUNBURN TOO!
Why do pigs wallow in the mud? Because they are light pink and white skinned and would otherwise sunburn without coating of mud.  Pigs know how to take care of themselves! White and lightly colored pets can suffer sunburn too, but won’t look for mud to coat themselves in, and you wouldn’t want them too.

Long-term sun exposure can lead to skin damage and in some cases skin cancers just like in humans. If any type of discoloration or sore appears, consult your veterinarian for a check-up. Areas that are commonly affected are the ears, eyelids and nose.

BOTTOM LINE
If you really love your pets, pay attention and take mindful care of them - you are their master!

Thank you The Pet Place for the input.

Social networking is all the rage now, we hear about Twitter and Facebook, MySpace and YouTube on sitcoms, the nightly news and commercials, it’s absolutely mainstream. Social networking is changing how we use, watch, learn about and report the news and information, as well as make connections — business and personal. All good! 

But . . . if computers and online-lives are taking away from family time, is it all good?

This is a question each person must ask themselves in the battle to stay connected to our families, children and spouses; to enrich our lives with our families — not to invite one more distraction into our lives of strangers and information that may make no difference (what you ate for breakfast) and BFFs who change weekly.

Studies are coming out now showing that online social networking contributes to less time spent with family, affecting family connections and relationships.

In the first half of the decade, families reported spending 26 hours a month together. By 2008, that dropped to 18 hours, according to the Annenberg Center for the Digital Future.

Certainly varying work schedules, travel, rising dual-income households, increasing commute times and work days, and participating in multiple children’s sports and activities are factors too. But the quick and continual (meteoric) rise of online social networking — what is new, exciting, cool, affordable and accessible by almost everyone — overshadows many of these other reasons in some families.

What can we do? Enjoy, use and utilize what are amazing technological advances and systems to help us connect like no other time in history, to do business, meet new people, help one another and create communities that in fact can be very helpful and real. And, at the same time, make sure you are shutting it off, making face-to-face contact and time with your family, kids, friends and others who are here and now right in front of you.

Need we remind ourselves of the famous Harry Chapin song lyrics . . .

“And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin home, dad, I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, Son,
You know we’ll have a good time then.”
Cat’s in the Cradle and Other Hits

The sadly ironic thing about this new distancing of relationships is that all the family members are in the same room, on cell phones, computers and other mobile devices, all talking to people around the world (and sometimes to the person within touch distance!!), but not one another! They ARE all home, but not HOME. 

Relationships take time and work. Use it or lose it applies! And, if we’re talking about you being a parent, it’s a whole ‘nother level to this issue. You and your children will pay for gaps in their time with you for a life time. That is not worth it. Childhood development depends on real-time with parents and family, make sure to make that happen.

Am I an “online social networker?” You can find me at on Twitter. Not every moment, but I’m there, http://twitter.com/drdeclutter  Just getting onto Facebook (to tell the truth, ‘m not great at all these sites - I like “face-to-face”.)

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,      

He called it … Dad

                                                    ~Author Unknown

I hope you have or had a dad like this. If not. . . start seeing these qualities in yourself, having compassion and a higher sense of love for your father.

We’re all doing the best we can from where we’ve come.

We drive way too much sometimes, especially when we can walk to lots of shopping, eating and other shopping places within a mile of where we live or work.

WHY WALK, NOT DRIVE BENEFITS
Save gas, money and the stress of traffic and parking, plus, get some (possibly well-needed) exercise and stress relief by being outdoors and maybe walking with friends or family, deepening your relationships too! Plus, you may find out about shops and things on the way and back you never took the time to stop and explore!

Website developer Kathryn Benedicto decided to pursue One-Mile Radius Living — finding walkable spots in her ‘hood to get the same things she was driving long distances to get. Kathryn says she got her idea after realizing that her driving habits kept her thinking like a car commuter even when she wasn’t commuting!

Put on your fun shoes and get ready for your One-Mile-Radius Living walk yourself! See Benedicto’s cool and pracitical idea WalkScore and start walking! 

Just plug in your zip code, or your exact address, city, state in the Address bar and get going!  You can even share in the comments what great spots you’ve discovered near you.

When you get onto an airplane, you’re told that “in case of cabin pressure changes” the oxygen masks will fall down from the compartments above — and — put YOURS ON FIRST, then help those next to you.

Hmmm, how good are you at this?

Women especially are socialized from day one to take care of other’s needs first, then themselves. Do you do that? How’s that workin’ for ya?

The first step to being true to yourself is taking care of yourself FIRST so that you have more to give to others, not less, by giving it all away and being depleted.

So, life’s short! Post a REMINDER or two around and on your schedule to

1.  be by yourself happily, enjoy your own company

2.  take care of your health so that you’re in good shape daily for anything that happens, and so that you can simple enjoy your “earth suit!”

3.  create an environment around you that you love and that loves you back

4.  have friends who support you and your endeavors

5.  spend time daily doing nothing to reclaim your energy

6.  have fun, lots of fun. Laugh more often, smile at everything!

Find more and more little things that help you feel relaxed, happy and loved, so that YOUR OXYGEN MASK is on safe and secure for the day - every day.