Kissing: It’s a Good Thing!

Relationships, Support System No Comments »

HAPPY PRE-VALENTINE’S DAY!

“The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a canon – but its echo lasts a great deal longer.”

“When words become superficial, humans make use of kisses.”
~ Sigmund Freud

There are lots of good reasons to want to kiss and be kissed. But, did you know that there are side-benefits from kissing? Here are a few:

1) Burn Calories!
A passionate kiss burns 6.4 – 10 calories per 10 minutes (about one calorie per minute)… depending on the research. A long kiss makes the metabolism burn up sugar faster than usual. The calories burned of course depend on the intensity of your kisses. No matter, you do burn calories, so… kiss more, lose weight!

(NOTE: Doing the chocolate heart-box thang?… There are 26 calories in a chocolate kiss… do the math!)

2) Prevents Tooth Decay! (NO WAY!!)
Dr. Peter Gorden, Dental Advisor at the British Dental Association, explains. “After eating, your mouth is full of sugar solution and acidic saliva, which cause plaque build up. Kissing is nature’s own cleaning process”, he adds. “It stimulates saliva flow and brings plaque levels down to normal.”

3) Stress Management.
A passionate kiss can relieve tension. It’s a great relaxation technique. It’s almost impossible to smile and feel tense at the same time. Our emotions and body language are so closely linked and when your mouth is in a kissing position, you are almost smiling (and might be smiling and laughing in between). Plus, in romantic kissing there is love and anticipation and all kinds of deep breathing and body reactions… creating a great relaxation response zone to stay in as long as you can. Make sure to close your eyes! Shut out everything else and “be” here and now and one with your kisses! Ahhhhh, that’s so good!

4) Increases Fitness Levels.
Just like when you’re exercising, your heart is pumping, your pulse is racing. When kissing is exciting, you also release adrenaline into the bloodstream and your heart pumps more blood around your body, bringing all that blushed skin tone to your face and all other beautiful parts! It’s a great cardiovascular workout!

5) Natural Face and Body Lift.
Kissing, lots of it… slows the aging process. It tones your cheek and jaw muscles, so they’re less likely to sag. (Side bar: Anything else that you can think of to accompany kissing… can stretch, strengthen and tone too! Flexibility at every age is very important.)

6) Ups Your Self-Esteem.
Kissing is a great boost for self-esteem. In theory, when you’re kissing, you’re happy. You’re excited. You’re anticipating unexpected things to happen. And when you’re happy and excited, you let go of the everyday routine and sometimes mundane thinking… you feel good about yourself, changing the chemistry of your brain and endorphin system for all- around wellness.

Whew…!

Enjoy kissing on Valentine’s Day… and every day.

©Kim Wolinski, MSW “Dr. DeClutter”Stress, Change and Organizational Skills Expert

Editors and publishers are free to reprint blog articles as long as it is reprinted in its entirety and the signature line remains intact.

Stop Dating. Start “Practicing!”

Relationships, Support System No Comments »

 

If you’re a single person, and want to be in a relationship again, you will actually have to “get out there” and meet people!

How do you feel about dating? It can be hard, a struggle, scary and panic-attack-provoking. Or, it can be simple, easy-breezy and fun.

The key to making it easy and taking all the stress out is this… STOP DATING!

Yes, don’t date… PRACTICE!

Can you feel the difference? I figured this out years ago. It makes so much sense to me. Why put all that heavy energy on spending time with someone new, “dating” when you can just “practice” being with them.

Practice is…

  • spending time with someone new
  • listening to new stories
  • looking at a new body
  • thinking about this person
  • talking and sharing
  • experiencing new ideas, thoughts, beliefs and activities
  • learning something new
  • learning more about yourself, your preferences “likes and dislikes”
  • expanding your mind and heart
  • laughing
  • just being with someone
  • just breathing with another “other” in life, very helpful

It’s all about practicing. Much lighter feel to that, eh?

I look forward to hearing how your next “practice” goes! Enjoy!

©Kim Wolinski, MSW “Dr. DeClutter” Stress, Change and Organizational Skills Expert    www.DrDeClutter.com

Editors and publishers are free to reprint blog articles as long as it is reprinted in its entirety and the signature line remains intact.

We Teach People How To Treat Us…OUCH!

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System No Comments »

 

Are you in relationships, even one, that never cease to be frustrating, confusing, drama-packed, toxic or abusive in any way?

Do you walk away from some people feeling like you never want to talk to them again?

If it’s acquaintances, co-workers, or friends, you can let them go or change jobs, but when it’s family, it’s much harder to deal with.

Having just come out of the holiday season you may of experienced some of this for sure, but unfortunately may deal with it more often throughout the year, or live with it/them. Sorry.

I can guess you’ve talked to them and asked them to change, shared your feelings, maybe cried, screamed or threatened if they don’t change. But they don’t. And, most likely, banning a miracle, they won’t.

WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US

So, it’s a hard pill to swallow, but yes, it’s true. We teach people how to treat us. Let that sink in for a moment.

Start being more conscious of how you communicate (or don’t communicate – which of course is communicating) your needs, wants, desires, etc. This whole deal implies that you actually must know who you are and what you want.

Do you know what you want? Most people don’t really know themselves and what they want so “settle” for what they’ve got.

You have to know what you want. What you don’t want. What you’re unwilling to settle for. What is ENOUGH! YOU have to decide these things for yourself.

You also must understand that when you get clear about what you want and communicate it, your someone, and lots of someones, are not going to like it.

As I teach all my audiences, there’s a saying for this, it is “Oh, well!” Yes, “Oh, well!”  Time keeps moving by, life is short and at some point you need to draw a line in the sand and live your life, and, some people will absolutely not like it! You are shaking up the status quo and their old habits, conditioning and patterns. “Oh, well!”

So, the next time you feel guilty, angry, hurt, slighted, taken advantage of, etc. see how you have taught that person to treat you that way. See if you can adjust your behaviors, actions and communication to be treated the way you want to be treated… even when they don’t like it.

Reality is, you may never get what you want from them, but you can detach enough to free yourself from feeling stressed and reacting to their craziness, which is very good for you.

Kim, “Dr. DeClutter”

Get more ideas for self-help. I am host of Formulas For Freedom radio show. Listen to past programs here: http://www.formulasforfreedom.com/radio-show/

PRIORITY COACH

If you need one-one-one help to strengthen your personal/life/decision making skills, I will work with you by phone. Find out more here:

Ticket To Shift – Priority Coach . . . . . (Tele-coaching)

Thanksgiving Expectations, Be Gone! Less Stress Equals More Happy!

Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management 1 Comment »

pie.gif

 

Loosen up this Thanksgiving. Enjoy your friends and family and the quiet that engulfs a holiday. Don’t let perfectionism and “It has to be my way (or the highway!)” cost you your happiness and good relations with those around you.

At the same time, don’t let other’s too high of expectations ruin your day either.

It’s all about flow… no matter what! Sometimes it’s about stopping and regrouping, redeciding mid-stream. That’s absolutely okay to do. Laugh more. Love more. Enjoy more.

COMMUNICATE

Discuss everyone’s needs and ideas for what they want to make the day work. Compromise and enjoy it more.

At the same time, do all that you can do, want to do and love to do to prepare, get ready and feel good about your holiday table and home, while at the same time, lighten up and know that something will be forgotten, missed, broken, spilled, smashed, crashed, dropped or eaten (by your dog). It’s okay.

broken plate

 

THE EASY WAY TO GET READY FOR NEXT YEAR! . . . AND GET AHEAD OF DRAMA, CHAOS AND FRUSTRATIONS

Next year? Too early? Never!

What this means is to take the time today and in the next few days after Thanksgiving to go back over your prepared lists and plans and see what you can alter for next year that will make it even easier, better and more stress-free for YOU and for others. The sooner you do this the better off you’ll feel year after year. And, that’s what gratitude looks like!

Happy Thanksgiving!! 

Kim

Oh! PS! If you really need an escape for some R&R (promo here!), my brother, Dave, and I bought the Old Town Guesthouse B&B and Conference Center in June. Come stay and get away with us!! I also offer private and group wellness and healing Retreats here. Contact me – kim@drdeclutter.com – and let’s discuss your personal needs, or a group you’re part of that may like to come stay, play, get away and take the time for self-care; find answers and solutions to everyday issues in our Retreat Learning Center programs.

Merry Christmas, from Me and The Claus’s!

Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Photos and Picture Organizing, Relationships, Support System No Comments »

Me - Christmas w MrMrsClaus at Shores 12-2013

I wish you a lovely Christmas, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Blessings to you and yours,

Kim

//

Dealing with Loss and Grief During the Holidays

Change and Transition, Grief: Death and Dying - End of Life Planning, Health and Medical, Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management 3 Comments »

candle - red burning

This time of year brings up a lot of emotions for those dealing with loss and/or still in grief.

My father died 5 years ago this week after 3 weeks in ICU after falling backwards on the front steps and cracking his head. He never came out of the coma.

This wasn’t the first holiday season we spent in an ICUs or hospital over the years due to his or my moms surgeries.

GRIEF AND LOSS

While decorating and shopping, cooking and planning, there are many who will get stuck, stand paralyzed at times in pain and sadness, thoughts of the past and “if onlys”. There will be others who will run around frantically in a daze or trying to push the pain away. Still others sleep, or sit and sob.

There is no perfect way to grieve, but to grieve.

GRIEF IS REAL

If you are dealing with loss this year, I want to offer you a few tips that can help ease the pain from time to time and help you move through your transition.

1. Your feelings are your feelings, and they are normal.

Recognize that all feelings associated with loss and change are normal: grief, hurt, fear, sadness, anger, remorse, guilt or despair. Some may be very open with their feelings, while others may be very private. It is however important to feel your feelings (stuffing them will cause them to show up side-ways through your body in symptoms of illness and pain.)

2. Move your feelings out by journaling.

journal 1 - illustration

Keeping loops of thoughts in our heads is exhausting, unproductive and creates more stress. Journaling, the simple act of writing down deep and personal reflections on paper is often helpful. This process is just for you. File them away in a dresser drawer and tear them up later is you like.

3. Talk with a supportive and caring person.

Whether you talk to your minister, a counselor or a friend, find someone who will listen to what you are going through without telling you to change or guiding you in or out of it — just listen. Sometimes finding someone who has experienced a similar experience is helpful too. Basically, you just need to talk it out and release the energy of emotions from your body, mind and soul.

4. Share the good times and stories.

“Do you remember when …” is often a great way to communicate how much you loved that person. Some stories may be sad, leading you to cry with others and embrace in loving arms. Some stories may lead you to remember and realize what an interesting and fascinating life your loved one led. Still others may be humorous, causing us to laugh and cry with tears of joy.

5. Photos and personal treasures.

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image4652911

Photos are an easy way to remember someone and tell the stories attached to that time or place. Photos and personal items are tangible and may also help us to remember and pay tribute to their memory. This activity may be done in private or with others.

6. Physical touch.

Make sure to be held and hugged during this time. We too easily forget that as humans we need touch.

7. Sleep, eat, rest.

Make sure to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep and rest and eating regularly. Don’t skip meals or pick at food. Your body needs nutrition more in times like this when your immune and adrenal systems are bombarded with stressors, emotional upheaval and pain. Keep taking your vitamins as well.

8. Meditate, pray and breathe.

Whatever way is your way to pray, meditate, be quiet and centered, do it often during this time. Some people read scriptures and sing, others sit in the quiet or in the sunshine just feeling the silence, others go for walks and let nature help in their letting go and healing.

9. Be kind to yourself.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to stop when you need to stop, cry when you need to cry, be angry when it shows up. It’s all part of the grief process that is normal and natural.

My thoughts go out to you this holiday season if you are feeling sadness over a loss.

Big hug, Kim

//

Clifford Nass, “How Multitasking Is Affecting the Way You Think”

Business Success, Change and Transition, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management, Time and Money Management No Comments »

 

Clifford Nass died November 7, 2013. What a great loss.

Listen to his 55 year old wisdom, and act upon it.

More on Nass’s great works.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/10433894/Clifford-Nass-Obituary.html

 

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When Getting A “C” Grade Is More Than Enough

Children: Bedrooms, Toys, Stuff and School Papers, Goal Setting and Success, Relationships, Support System, Stories that Matter No Comments »

Progress is perfect when it’s progress for the better, always!

Celebrate begins with “C”. Celebrate all “C’s”!

Go dad!

Master the Back to School Routine – My article/interview in Longmont Times-Call Longmont Magazine 8/24/13

Children: Bedrooms, Toys, Stuff and School Papers, Find My Articles - Where I'm Published, Goal Setting and Success, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management, Time and Money Management No Comments »

LongmontMag0518_1.eps

(Partial) Cover of the Longmont Magazine, Summer Edition.

ONLINE: Fall Edition will be available to read online soon.

TIME TO GET THOSE KIDS UP AND OUT TO SCHOOL 5 DAYS/WEEK!

If they’ve already started, how’s that going so far?

Are you a parent who needs some tips on how to get your child up and out the door for school with less fuss?

You can get great tips in the article I was interviewed for recently, “MASTER THE BACK TO SCHOOL ROUTINE.”

It came out in our local Longmont Times-Call Newspaper, Longmont, CO today. See pages pages 40-42.

The electronic version will be available soon. I’ll post when ready.

NEED MORE IDEAS?

As noted in the article, there’s always more stress relief and organizing ideas for them too in my blog! Enjoy the school year!

 

 

Happy Father’s Day, Trees and Apples!

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System, Stories that Matter No Comments »

happy father's day - dad and baby slpng

Hahahahaha!  The apple fell very close to this tree!

Happy Father’s Day, dads!

 

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