Thanksgiving Expectations, Be Gone! Less Stress Equals More Happy!

Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management 1 Comment »

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Loosen up this Thanksgiving. Enjoy your friends and family and the quiet that engulfs a holiday. Don’t let perfectionism and “It has to be my way (or the highway!)” cost you your happiness and good relations with those around you.

At the same time, don’t let other’s too high of expectations ruin your day either.

It’s all about flow… no matter what! Sometimes it’s about stopping and regrouping, redeciding mid-stream. That’s absolutely okay to do. Laugh more. Love more. Enjoy more.

COMMUNICATE

Discuss everyone’s needs and ideas for what they want to make the day work. Compromise and enjoy it more.

At the same time, do all that you can do, want to do and love to do to prepare, get ready and feel good about your holiday table and home, while at the same time, lighten up and know that something will be forgotten, missed, broken, spilled, smashed, crashed, dropped or eaten (by your dog). It’s okay.

broken plate

 

THE EASY WAY TO GET READY FOR NEXT YEAR! . . . AND GET AHEAD OF DRAMA, CHAOS AND FRUSTRATIONS

Next year? Too early? Never!

What this means is to take the time today and in the next few days after Thanksgiving to go back over your prepared lists and plans and see what you can alter for next year that will make it even easier, better and more stress-free for YOU and for others. The sooner you do this the better off you’ll feel year after year. And, that’s what gratitude looks like!

Happy Thanksgiving!! 

Kim

Oh! PS! If you really need an escape for some R&R (promo here!), my brother, Dave, and I bought the Old Town Guesthouse B&B and Conference Center in June. Come stay and get away with us!! I also offer private and group wellness and healing Retreats here. Contact me – kim@drdeclutter.com – and let’s discuss your personal needs, or a group you’re part of that may like to come stay, play, get away and take the time for self-care; find answers and solutions to everyday issues in our Retreat Learning Center programs.

Merry Christmas, from Me and The Claus’s!

Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Photos and Picture Organizing, Relationships, Support System No Comments »

Me - Christmas w MrMrsClaus at Shores 12-2013

I wish you a lovely Christmas, no matter how you choose to spend it.

Blessings to you and yours,

Kim

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Dealing with Loss and Grief During the Holidays

Change and Transition, Grief: Death and Dying - End of Life Planning, Health and Medical, Holiday Organizing All Year Round, Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management 3 Comments »

candle - red burning

This time of year brings up a lot of emotions for those dealing with loss and/or still in grief.

My father died 5 years ago this week after 3 weeks in ICU after falling backwards on the front steps and cracking his head. He never came out of the coma.

This wasn’t the first holiday season we spent in an ICUs or hospital over the years due to his or my moms surgeries.

GRIEF AND LOSS

While decorating and shopping, cooking and planning, there are many who will get stuck, stand paralyzed at times in pain and sadness, thoughts of the past and “if onlys”. There will be others who will run around frantically in a daze or trying to push the pain away. Still others sleep, or sit and sob.

There is no perfect way to grieve, but to grieve.

GRIEF IS REAL

If you are dealing with loss this year, I want to offer you a few tips that can help ease the pain from time to time and help you move through your transition.

1. Your feelings are your feelings, and they are normal.

Recognize that all feelings associated with loss and change are normal: grief, hurt, fear, sadness, anger, remorse, guilt or despair. Some may be very open with their feelings, while others may be very private. It is however important to feel your feelings (stuffing them will cause them to show up side-ways through your body in symptoms of illness and pain.)

2. Move your feelings out by journaling.

journal 1 - illustration

Keeping loops of thoughts in our heads is exhausting, unproductive and creates more stress. Journaling, the simple act of writing down deep and personal reflections on paper is often helpful. This process is just for you. File them away in a dresser drawer and tear them up later is you like.

3. Talk with a supportive and caring person.

Whether you talk to your minister, a counselor or a friend, find someone who will listen to what you are going through without telling you to change or guiding you in or out of it — just listen. Sometimes finding someone who has experienced a similar experience is helpful too. Basically, you just need to talk it out and release the energy of emotions from your body, mind and soul.

4. Share the good times and stories.

“Do you remember when …” is often a great way to communicate how much you loved that person. Some stories may be sad, leading you to cry with others and embrace in loving arms. Some stories may lead you to remember and realize what an interesting and fascinating life your loved one led. Still others may be humorous, causing us to laugh and cry with tears of joy.

5. Photos and personal treasures.

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image4652911

Photos are an easy way to remember someone and tell the stories attached to that time or place. Photos and personal items are tangible and may also help us to remember and pay tribute to their memory. This activity may be done in private or with others.

6. Physical touch.

Make sure to be held and hugged during this time. We too easily forget that as humans we need touch.

7. Sleep, eat, rest.

Make sure to take care of yourself by getting enough sleep and rest and eating regularly. Don’t skip meals or pick at food. Your body needs nutrition more in times like this when your immune and adrenal systems are bombarded with stressors, emotional upheaval and pain. Keep taking your vitamins as well.

8. Meditate, pray and breathe.

Whatever way is your way to pray, meditate, be quiet and centered, do it often during this time. Some people read scriptures and sing, others sit in the quiet or in the sunshine just feeling the silence, others go for walks and let nature help in their letting go and healing.

9. Be kind to yourself.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to stop when you need to stop, cry when you need to cry, be angry when it shows up. It’s all part of the grief process that is normal and natural.

My thoughts go out to you this holiday season if you are feeling sadness over a loss.

Big hug, Kim

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Clifford Nass, “How Multitasking Is Affecting the Way You Think”

Business Success, Change and Transition, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management, Time and Money Management No Comments »

 

Clifford Nass died November 7, 2013. What a great loss.

Listen to his 55 year old wisdom, and act upon it.

More on Nass’s great works.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/10433894/Clifford-Nass-Obituary.html

 

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When Getting A “C” Grade Is More Than Enough

Children: Bedrooms, Toys, Stuff and School Papers, Goal Setting and Success, Relationships, Support System, Stories that Matter No Comments »

Progress is perfect when it’s progress for the better, always!

Celebrate begins with “C”. Celebrate all “C’s”!

Go dad!

Master the Back to School Routine – My article/interview in Longmont Times-Call Longmont Magazine 8/24/13

Children: Bedrooms, Toys, Stuff and School Papers, Find My Articles - Where I'm Published, Goal Setting and Success, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management, Time and Money Management No Comments »

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(Partial) Cover of the Longmont Magazine, Summer Edition.

ONLINE: Fall Edition will be available to read online soon.

TIME TO GET THOSE KIDS UP AND OUT TO SCHOOL 5 DAYS/WEEK!

If they’ve already started, how’s that going so far?

Are you a parent who needs some tips on how to get your child up and out the door for school with less fuss?

You can get great tips in the article I was interviewed for recently, “MASTER THE BACK TO SCHOOL ROUTINE.”

It came out in our local Longmont Times-Call Newspaper, Longmont, CO today. See pages pages 40-42.

The electronic version will be available soon. I’ll post when ready.

NEED MORE IDEAS?

As noted in the article, there’s always more stress relief and organizing ideas for them too in my blog! Enjoy the school year!

 

 

Happy Father’s Day, Trees and Apples!

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System, Stories that Matter No Comments »

happy father's day - dad and baby slpng

Hahahahaha!  The apple fell very close to this tree!

Happy Father’s Day, dads!

 

Healthy Boundary Building: Make Dumping People Fun!

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System, Stress Management No Comments »

wall - red brick

Are there people in your life who drag you down and stop you from moving forward in your life? Does it sometimes feel like they put a wall in front of you just as you’re feeling confident in yourself to stop you?

I teach that there are 3 Kinds of Clutter, one of which is OTHER Clutter. OTHER Clutter is people.  Sometimes people in our lives are distracting, keep us frustrated, stress us out and take us off balance. If it’s really them (and not us) I call them “bucket people.”

BUCKET PEOPLE

People who drag us down, tell us we can’t or will never be successful, tell us to stop trying so hard, etc. These people can be old friends, new ones, family, co-workers, employers, even guidance counselors (I had one in college!). They have “issues” of their own and dump them on others. They’re not bad people, but their issues will help nudge you down the wrong path if you listen to them, believe them and stop following your own path, vision, dream and plan.

animals - crabs in pan

Bucket people  are like crabs in a bucket. You can leave the lid off the bucket and they won’t get away, though they will try. They will climb over one another in the attempt to climb out of the bucket, but as soon as one gets close to the top and over the side the others pull it back in. Do you have people like that in your life?

LET THEM GO

It’s not easy to let people go, but it’s a must if they are too strong of a negative and limiting influence on us. You owe it to yourself to take time to think it through and find a way to shift your relationship with them to stay in it to work better for you, or to part ways.

WHAT NOT TO DO

In the process of deciding to do it and doing it,

  • don’t be mean
  • don’t try to make them wrong or the bad guy
  • and don’t insult, shame or belittle to them

Just make your personal boundaries clear for yourself and start cutting ties, time and energy with them.

Will some of them be mad? Absolutely. It’s okay.

No matter how you do it, it can feel uncomfortable and even might bring up an argument or two. That’s okay. Just keep moving ahead with your decision to take care of yourself in order to expand and grow in your life.

HOW TO LET GO AND MOVE ON

FRIENDS: Stop calling, don’t spend time with them anymore, or just outright tell them that you’re moving on with your relationship.

JOB: Maybe it’s time to look for a new one!

FAMILY: It’s really hard to break the mold, I know. Really, I KNOW! You have to stay in touch with some of them of course, but I’ve learned that since I’m a very visual person, meaning I can’t listen and read at the same time (!), when I have “one of those calls” from a family member who’s into their “Debbie Downer” stories, I just start flipping through a magazine or grocery list! My brain shuts them out except just to tune in once in a while to see if I need to answer something!

With family, pick your battles and spend less and less time in them  (the battles) and with them.  Maybe it’s time to reassess the role you play in your family. Can you let it go?

MARRIAGE/PARTNER: Hmmm, couples therapy is a good thing. Or, maybe it’s time to leave.

TAKE THEM OFF YOUR AUTO DIAL!

person - anger

This has always been my humorous way to say that, “I’M UP TO HERE  WITH THEM AND DONE WITH THIS CRAZINESS! They’re ‘off my auto dial’!” I then literally remove their number from my auto dial on my phone. I haven’t had to do that in decades, but then, now of course it’s UNLIKING and UNFRIENDING on Facebook. Do it! Feels great, I can vouch for it!

Here’s a funny example of how to do this; make this your next outgoing phone message:

Beep…… “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.  I am making some changes in my life.  Please leave a message after the beep.  If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”

Can you think of a couple people in your life to whom this could, can, would, should apply?  (If you don’t call me back, I’ll know it’s me!)

Feel free to use it today! Have fun “decluttering” OTHER CLUTTER in your life and learning better and healthier boundaries for your best life.

RESOURCE SUGGESTION: FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!

This is one of the best books on taking the risk to change your life.

bookcover - feel the fear and do it anyway

Click here to order.

Love is a Verb: Be a Positive Change-Agent in the World

Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System No Comments »

org - pick up litter

 

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

Valentine’s Day has an energy all its own. It’s bursting with love and giving, receiving and happiness for all of those who partake in it. How easy is it to give love?

Have you ever heard someone say, “It’s not my job!” There are plenty of simple opportunities every day where we can jump in and spread our love around. We can pick up where and when someone else dropped the ball, trash, plan, project, idea, care or whatever. Doing it out of a neutral place is the challenge. No griping, anger, ego or resentment. Just do it out of love.

LOVE IS A VERB

All kinds of us say, “I love you” every day, but sometimes it’s necessary to make it a VERB, showing others what it looks like (in action) to be loving and giving, not just say it.

Love for the planet, for mankind, for animal and plant and insect-kind takes action, even in the smallest of ways. Do it and move on, or don’t of course, but be open to doing it, no matter how big or small the task.

I pick up trash whenever I see it . . .  about 80% of the time. I’ve limited myself to 80% because I wouldn’t get much else done if I detoured to pick up a cup or piece of paper or whatever every time I saw one! I just feel better when it’s put where it’s supposed to be. And, I bless, yes, bless the person who discarded it unwisely or accidently. It’s not my job, but it is my planet.

There a lots of examples, but two from a few years ago really stay in mind:

1. Bert Brady made a difference as part of the “Welcome Home a Hero Program” in Dallas, TX  in 2007 welcoming home soldiers coming off planes. Friends, neighbors and strangers rallied around Brady and made a big difference for those service men and women.

2. British tycoon Richard Branson offered a $25 million prize before the world’s scientists on February 9, 2007 seeking to spur research into devising ways to suck greenhouse gases out of the air. Branson said, “Man created the problem, therefore man should solve the problem.” It’s not his job, but it is his planet.

What can you do to not just show love, but BE love… in action?

heart in hands

You don’t have to have $25 million to allocate to an issue that was “dropped” by others, but you can give some time to fixing, picking up, putting back, sharing, helping out, volunteering, taking care of, etc.

So, even when it’s not “our job,” we can pitch in do our part, no matter how large or small, to be a positive change-agent in the world.

Love is a verb, it is action. Do it, and move on! It’s not your job, but it is your planet.

 

Have You Hit The Mark On Your New Year’s Resolutions?

Change and Transition, Goal Setting and Success, Inner Clutter: Consciousness Building and Self-Care, Relationships, Support System No Comments »

Did you set your New Year’s Resolutions? How’s your motivation holding up?

Unfortunately, it’s the human condition to follow the “path of least resistance.” We too easily fall back into our normal, lifelong routines, habits and patterns falling short of our intentions and goals. Our New Year’s Resolutions are put on the back burner, forgotten and joked about. Another year can go by without moving ahead one step toward our dreams and desires.

HABITS DIE HARD

Studies show that it takes 21-days to change a habit. I disagree. My experience, and the input from the thousands of people I’ve worked with over the years, say that it takes 21-days of conscious effort to realize you even have a habit! Then, if you truly want to change it, the work begins!

What is on your dream list?

What would you like to change, lose, gain, increase, learn, experience, find, create, build, etc.?

3 STEPS TO YOUR DREAMS (YOUR GOALS)

Making the following three basic components to goal setting and achievement a priority – that will in turn help you to get, stay motivated and take the right actions toward your chosen outcomes – you’ll be able to stay on course to realize your worthy goals and long held dreams.

1.  A plan.
2.  Support.
3.  New routines.

Prioritizing these three pieces of the dream machine in place, you’ll be
– cranking out those new products
– singing up a storm on your new recording
– going to press with your new book
– starting up the company of your dreams
– starting that new job
– meeting our soul mate
– increasing your income
– moving into your new dream home
– gaining a new body
– spending more time with family, your children or yourself
… whatever you truly want.

BUT, I NEED HELP! I JUST KEEP GETTING STUCK!

If you fall short in the SUPPORT, INFORMATION and MOTIVATION Departments, I would love to help you get there from here, wherever there is.

I offer Priority Coaching by telephone.

Get a free 20-minute consultation with me by phone to discuss your needs.

Email me at kim@drdeclutter.com to schedule your Priority Coaching 20-minute free consult and find out how I can support the changes you desire.

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You will get the help, guidance, brainstorming sessions, challenging assignments and exercises to move you out of out-date routines and patterns and more to see the changes you want in any area of life.

If not now, when? Happy New Year and NEW YOU!

Kim


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