DrDeClutterBlog.com

It’s that time! Spring break!

Where  are you going? What are you doing? What’s the plan?

Whether you’re going somewhere or sleeping, have a plan so that you enjoy every minute.

There are many ways to plan and experience your spring break this year. The overall best way is to have fun, be safe and create stories and memories that you won’t regret or are embarrassed about later! They’ll be all over TV and the Internet soon enough.

Here are some tips and links that will help you help yourself to a great fun time!

1:  Plan ahead.

Don’t “assume” you’ll get a ticket, a room, or whatever you dream of having when you “get there” and if you get there.

2: Tell a friend, family members where you are going.

Being a free spirit is lovely, and can get you into trouble too. Make sure someone has your travel plan. Take travel warnings seriously. “Stay on the trail”, and take a friend with you.

3:  Take care of your body.

-  Drink lots of water if you’re going to be in the sun or racing down ski slopes all day.

-  Wear sunscreen and sunglasses.

-  Limit alcohol.  Your future employers may skip right by you if they see social media pictures of you drunk and crazy. It’s not worth it. I don’t need to go into all of the other reasons not to drink, get drunk and set yourself up for problems, right?

4.  Sex? Protect yourself.

You know the lecture, right? Condoms, etc. etc. etc. Your life and future and dreams are the core of who you are. One moment of “passion” can kill it all. Be smart. There’s always more passion!

5.  Credit cards, money, license, passport, tickets, maps  - protect yourself.

Make a copy of these items so if lost you have proof and the numbers. Copy both sides when numbers may be different on each side.  Plan ahead to keep them somewhere safe.

6. Don’t overspend.

Plan your budget and stick to it. If you need an extra reminder and stop-gap help click here to get my free Money Pocket Sanity Tool.

7. Call/text home.

Don’t get into the “I’m freeee! I can do anything I want!” Call or text home, to friends, etc. Not so much that it stifles your fun, but enough to let others who love and care for you know that you’re okay and they don’t have to worry one more night about you.

8. Be 100% responsible.

Don’t set yourself up to have problems and then blame others for it. Be 100% responsible for yourself and your experience. Make the choices you need to make to stay with or leave your “friends” or groups of people if they are headed down a dark road and everything in you says to get out now. Get out now!

9. HAVE FUN!

Enjoy every minute! Try new foods and experiences. Don’t be shy, say hi and meet new people.

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Benjamin Franklin, a prolific wordsmith, said that “A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.” That’s for sure, but it sure also helps to really love your space. And, I’ll add a “Dr. DeClutter-ism”, that your space must love you back.

Right now, look around you, what do you see? What do you love about it? What is not so loveable!?

If you’re not at home, visualize your home. Do you love it? Does it love you back?

When I’m working with people on organizing jobs, or teaching an organizing workshop, I always remind my listeners that “your home is your castle, your sacred space. You should love it. And, it should love you back.”

Now, have I said that enough times to have it sink in?

“Where we love is home -
home that our feet may leave,
but not our hearts.”
~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

LOVE YOUR SPACE

Whatever you choose to have around you – plus the decor, colors, chotchkies (knick-knacks), books and more – it should all be things that you love, that bring your heart happiness and your mind peace. Is that true for you?

Choose a corner. What is not happy-making in that space right now? What can you do to change it in a few minutes for a few hours? Do it!

You will be amazed at how much better you feel when your surroundings reflect your personality and are an uncluttered joy to be in.

YOUR SPACE SHOULD LOVE YOU BACK

What does this mean? Everything around you should make you feel peaceful and happy reflecting your personality . . . loving you back. It should make you want it in your space, use and enjoy and appreciate it. Clutter, piles and heaps, old pictures that are meaningless, worn out items, dust and cobwebs that always make you feel kind of bad or depressed are not loving you back.

Either fix and shine up the items you have, or let them go (donate) and leave the space open or replace it with something awesomely you.

And, this doesn’t have to be about money, as in “I don’t have lots of money to put into changes, so I won’t do anything”. Just start moving items and energy and you’ll be amazed at how much you might like more open space or that you already have replacements in other areas of the house.

THIS IS THE MONTH OF LOVE

In the US, especially – thank you, or curse you, Hallmark – we get wrapped up in Valentine’s Day. Even if you don’t care about it, or scorn its very existence, take this month before spring settles in and shine up your living space. Fall in love again, or for the first time, with your home, one area at a time and enjoy spring, summer, fall and winter of this new year anew.

“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.”
~ Jane Austen

It’s been a month since Christmas. How did your holidays go this year?

Were they picture perfect?

If not – if they weren’t joyfilled, relaxed or as gentle as you had planned or would have wanted – use the following list to think about and take charge of your thoughts, feelings and holiday-stress from the past few months and for all future holidays to come.

1. What were my expectations about the holidays? Were they met?

2. How to I feel about my expectations being or not being met?

3. If my expectations weren’t met, why not? and, what could I have done about it?

4. If I’m unhappy about what happened around the holidays and celebrations, how am I dealing with my frustrations, anger, resentment, disappointments, etc.? Am I talking about others, gossiping, degrading them? Am I complaining, nagging, blaming?

5. What would I have liked to have happened instead of what I experienced with family, relationships, friends, children, gift giving, spending money, gift receiving, charity, religious rituals, use of time, use of energy, work, play, fun, food, alcohol, decorations, parties, meal preparation, travel, etc.?

6. What would I like to have happen next year?

7. Who do I have to discuss changes with in order to get some of my needs met?

8. If I don’t communicate my needs and negotiate my desires, what will be the outcome?

9. Am I willing to go through this experience again?

10. If I don’t decide and speak up, am I willing to let go of anything and everything that isn’t perfect or the way I’d like? (E.g., no griping!)

We are either part of problem or part of the solution. Being part of the solution means making decisions, communication them and being active, not passive for your joy.

You have 10 months to plan for next holiday season! Be the solution!

Happy Post-Holidays, and NEW YEAR!

GET MORE HELP QUICKLY!

For more great questions and help to create better holidays all year round, I highly suggest my ebook, Holiday Stress Be Gone! The Complete Self-Help Guide on How to Change Your Holiday Experiences for GOOD!  Find out more and order in my online bookstore.

While growing up in my parent’s home my mom was adamant that we kids thanked people for gifts, as in “Thank you notes.” I’m really big on sending thank you’s. I love sending them and receiving them! Mom did a great job of training us up right on this one for sure! Well, at least I learned it!!

Thank you notes are important for any reason, but for this post I’m focusing on the holidays.

WHAT CONSTITUTES A THANK YOU NOTE IN OUR HIGH-TECH CULTURE?

There a lots of ways to say thank you.

1. Make a phone call.

2. Email.

3. Text.

4. Facebook DM.

5. Tweet.

6. But, really, this is the way I’m talking about – mail, real paper and envelope and stamp in “snail” mail.

Why real mail?

Our tech-savvy world is all interesting, necessary and etc., but standing still, taking real time, effort and thought and truly being grateful is getting lost quickly in our digital age.

Real cards in the mail mean a lot to people. They really stick with us as opposed to a fleeting email or text that is lost in the e-stack of others, read so quickly that, like Teflon, it slides right off our mind, emotions and memory.

Have you sent thank you’s to people for your Christmas gifts yet? Don’t wait until February, do it this month while it’s still fresh in your mind.

Click on card above to order if you don’t have any!

9 REASONS TO SEND THANK YOU NOTES

1. You are grateful, appreciative and thankful for the gift, gesture, event or whatever, right? Show your gratitude.

2.  We all love to be acknowledged for what they are doing well.

3.  By sending a thank-you note, you show others common courtesy and respect.

4.  A thank-you note lets you say lots of other good stuff too that you might still want to share, a nice completion to Christmas before the new year rolls in and over us too quickly and it’s all forgotten.

5. Because, love is a verb.  A thank you note means that you took your time and attention and “loved” this person and what they did.

6.  Sending a “real” thank you note is a learned skill for most people that is all about social skills, communication skills as well as life, business and relationship skill building. (Teach your kids now!)

7. You will get good back 180 for doing this. What we give, we receive 100 fold in ways that may surprise you.

8. Because it feels so good! And, when we feel good and share love back, we are helping our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual selves.

9. It keeps us grounded and human in our fast-paced, distracted, detached world.

Writing thank-you notes shouldn’t be hard, but will take a bit of your time. Find or make the time and love others back with a real thank you today. My mom will be proud!

Here are more generic examples. Click to buy now if you don’t have time to shop! Use all year long for all notes of appreciation!

So many of us worry about gaining weight during the holidays, those dreaded holiday pounds can really sneak up on you if you’re not careful.  Here are some tips for cutting down the calories and forgetting about the extra pounds this holiday season:

Tip #1: Get another taste tester. If you are doing the cooking this year, stay out of the pot! If you need a food taster, ask somebody else to do that job for you.

Tip #2: Don’t nibble all day. It’s irresistible to stay away from all the food and sweets when it’s sitting on the counter. This is where even the most faithful dieters throw in the towel.  They nibble here and there all day, then eat a full meal.  Try not to nibble, have a glass of water or a piece of fruit instead.  Cut an assortment of veggie sticks and keep them close at hand.  Often we nibble on food out of habit, not because we’re really hungry.

Tip #3: Stop after the first plate. Don’t go back for seconds. I know it’s hard. Aunt Suzie’s homemade sourdough bread is probably calling your name. But don’t go back for more! Eat your dinner and stop there.  After about 30 minutes or so you’ll brain will have had enough time to register you’re actually full and you will no longer feel like seconds.

Tip #4: Drink more water. It is a fact that if you drink a glass of water at least 30 minutes prior to your meal you won’t be as hungry as you normally would be. Try to drink as much water as you can throughout the entire day and you won’t be as hungry.

Tip #5: Use a smaller plate. You are going to fill up your plate, no doubt about it. So use a smaller plate. Instead of using the big plates, grab a smaller plate to eat off of. You won’t be able to fit as much on it. Less food on your plate means less calories you’re taking in!

Tip #6: Swap sugary food for healthy, raw food. You know this, right? Eat more raw veggies, fruit, protein  etc, not all the cakes, cookies, candy.

Happy Holidays!

If you have one or more children at school, the holidays can get a little out of hand. Keep yourself (and your kids!) organized this year with these quick ideas:

School Activities:

* Use a calendar. This is the most important thing you can do to keep yourself organized. Keep a large, wipe-off calendar in the kitchen. Have your children write their parties or other holiday activities on the calendar. This way, everyone will be able to see who has an event scheduled. This will help to prevent over-scheduling or double-booking any day of the month.

* Keep a running list. Your kids will be asked to bring refreshments to contribute to their class party. Keep a running list on the refrigerator so that you can do your shopping all at once. Having this list will prevent you from making several trips to the grocery store.

Gift Giving:

* Create a budget for your kids. If you will be providing money for your kids to buy Christmas gifts with, then make a budget. If they will use their own money for shopping, you should still help them make a budget so they don’t overspend.

* Make a shopping list. Again, create a list with each child of who they need to shop for. If they know what kind of gift they will buy for their friends, then let them go ahead and make that list. Don’t take them shopping without a plan or it may end in disaster, with you spending a lot more than you’d intended to in the beginning or worst shopping for hours without finding the right gifts.

The holidays are busy for travelers. Families everywhere take trips to visit relatives that they haven’t seen in a while.

It is advisable to be prepared if you must travel. There’s nothing worse than getting on the road, or arriving at your final destination, and realizing that you forgot something important. If your family is going on a trip during this holiday season, use this checklist to help you keep track of what to take:

1. Medications. Even if your children are healthy, be sure to bring along any and all medication that they could possibly need. You never know when a situation will arise that will require those medications for your kids.

2. Toothbrushes and toothpaste. Mom and Dad find it easy to remember to pack their own dental hygiene items. Younger kids may need reminding, though. Be sure everyone packs a toothbrush and toothpaste.

3. Sewing kit. Mishaps always happen. A button pops off. A skirt hem falls out. Pack a mini sewing kit in your suitcase to have on hand, just in case you need it.

4. Proper clothing. Call ahead of time and find out what the weather will be like where you are headed. Get specific temperatures if possible so that you will know what type of clothing to bring.

5. Bring extra clothes. Don’t forget to pack extra clothes as well, for everyone. Kids will need more clothing than adults, but it won’t hurt to throw in an extra outfit or two for you as well.

6. Shoes. Be sure you have matching shoes to wear with your outfits and don’t forget to bring the right shoes for the right weather.

7. Hair accessories. If you have daughters and they wear hair accessories, be sure to pack plenty to go along with their outfits.

8. Games for the kids. Kids get bored on road trips, especially if the trips are more than an hour or two. To save your sanity, be sure to bring along several fun games that they can play in the car. Puzzle books, audio cassette tapes (with a walkman), and printable games online are just a few ideas you can use.

9. Don’t forget the camera, you’ll definitely want to record all your family Christmas memories so don’t forget the camera and make sure it has batteries and film too.

10. And lastly don’t forget the presents!  It’s a much too common scenario, you pack up the car, start your road trip to visit relatives for a relaxing family Christmas only to realize you’ve left the presents behind.

Make that list, check it five times!! Make a list of everything you’ve decided to take and check things off one by one.

Happy Holidays!

Christmas makes kids wide-eyed, with thoughts of a ton of presents under the Christmas tree. Some kids even like to count their presents under the tree. This holiday season, teach your kids the true meaning of Christmas — giving to others.

GIVE TO OTHERS – TEACH BY EXAMPLE

DONATE TO LOCAL SHELTER: One simple way to teach your children the value of giving is to have them donate to a local shelter. Have your children go through their toys and clothes. Make sure they give away one really nice thing that they don’t really need or play with. Place an emphasis on the fact that there are many children who have no home or parents.

GIVE TO LOCAL FOOD DRIVE: Another way your children can learn about the gift of giving is to donate canned goods to a local food drive service. These services provide food to families in need. The holidays are often a difficult time for those in need. Take your children to the grocery store and have them choose a nice variety of canned foods to donate.

BUY GIFTS FOR NEEDY FAMILY: One more way your children can learn a lesson in giving is to buy gifts for others. Choose a needy family in your church or community. If you don’t know of anyone in need, ask around. Officials at your city’s municipal building, or local pastors will be able to make recommendations to you.

Take your children shopping and help them pick out age-appropriate toys and gifts. Let them wrap the gifts, too. Finally, drive your family to your “adopted” family’s home and let your kids hand out their gifts. You can also give a gift to a local gift drive for children in need, most of these will advertise in stores and the local community during the holidays.

These kinds of life experiences and teachings give children a work and life ethic for a lifetime.

Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays!

Whatever you celebrate this time of year, it is meant to be a time of gladness, great happiness, togetherness, love and joy… abundance, giving and peace.

America is prosperous. The most prosperous nation in the world. No matter where you live in the world, if you have a roof over your head, a job, money in the bank and your health… you are prosperous!

But, not everyone is prosperous of course. There are street people and poverty stricken, hungry and those who meet misfortune and tragedy this time of year and all year round. Children and people from other nations are starving, live in fear, needy and dying.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE DICHOTOMY OF HOLIDAY CHEER AND GIVING TO THE LESS FORTUNATE

Because of the strong contrast between Christmas and light and joy and some people’s daily or immediate harsh realities, the hard times are especially poignant during the holidays.

Here are some tips to help you and “them”, whoever “they” are gain balance now and all year round.

1) Make a decision.
Take the time to decide what is true about your ability to contribute humanitarian causes.

2) Choose.
Choose one or more causes each holiday season and give from your ability to give — money and/or time.

3) Reality check.
You cannot save the world during the holidays or anytime in your life, that’s not your job. But, you can make a difference in a very personal and small way somewhere. Make it.

4) Give and let go.
Write your check. Give. Let go. Don’t judge yourself or others for the amount of time or money given. Give and let go.

5) Plan for next year.
Pre-plan for next year. Give monthly to one or two chosen causes and stop the guilt that many people feel during the holidays.

6) Or, jump in!
If you want to really get involved in a charity or cause of any kind, then do!

Bottomline: Don’t get caught in-between feeling guilty about the roof over your head, food on your table, etc. — namely, your abundance and prosperity — and angry because you feel guilty about others’ needs and the onslaught of advertisement for donations.

7) Get off mailing and call lists.
Choose your causes of contributions and get off all other lists. This saves them money and time too!

Do you sometimes feel exhausted when it comes to spending time with your family and extended family? Do you sometimes feel yourself being too extended as in “stretched” to your mental, emotional and sometimes physical limits? Then you feel “expended” – as in tired and used up.

To “expend” means to spend, to use up, as in “expendable”:

able or intended to be sacrificed, as in war.

Are you expend-able? I hope not!

This holiday season (and everyday) make sure that you are enjoying your extended family… not using them up and certainly, not letting yourself be used up either!

TIP: Remember, “We teach people how to treat us!”

If you teach people to take advantage of you — of your kindness, of your being responsible and accountable, being fun and happy, being a giver — guess what? – they will! Not because they are bad people, or “users,” but because humans are pattern seeking creatures. We like patterns, we depend on patterns of behavior to feel in control, comfortable and safe.

YOUR JOB

Your job is to keep from creating or supporting patterns that keep you or others from being “expended”; to keep your energy and very life from being sacrificed.

Figure out what you want and don’t want and let others know. Then you can say “yes” or “no” easily as you’ve already laid down the ground rules, or at least your preferences.

YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SAY “NO” TO OTHERS, WHICH IS REALLY “YES” TO YOURSELF

I teach this truth a lot in my programs. That your NO to someone is actually a YES to yourself. So, you have to figure out what your YESES are to you before saying YES or NO to anyone.

And, those around you who have been taught and patterned to take advantage of, to be needy, demanding and helpless will not like it… “Oh, well!” Sadly, you might have a been a great teacher, but it’s time to step out of that position, especially when those people around you are adults.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Your challenge here is to figure out what you really want. What you are saying “yes” to so that you can say “no” with gentle and easy confidence. No fight. No resistance. No struggle. No war.

Don’t miss out on the joy of the season, of spending time with your precious family. No matter how well, or not, you get along, they are your family!

Stay at-center this holiday season, no matter what happens! This too (it all) will pass!

Happy Holidays! Kim