It seems odd to think that anyone would consciously choose to create problems and pain in their lives, but subconsciously and unconsciously (in a trance) we do create and support our dramas and traumas every day.
Think of the problems you have in your life right now. Think of how they have become your life’s story that you tell others. Some stories support us to be happy and enjoy our lives, but stories laced with problems and pain only keep the negative and heavy story alive and growing.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO STOP THE PROBLEMS AND PAIN IN YOUR LIFE?
Here is an exercise that can be a great tool for digging out the old stories and opening up space to change for good.
1. Take a sheet of paper and pen and draw 4 columns.
2. In the left column: Write down a couple of your problems. Start with the nagging ones.
3. In the second column, write down the pain each problem causes you. This could be emotional, physical, relationship, spiritual, financial, etc.
4. Now, for the not so easy part. In the third column for each, write down how you create – started, contribute to, keep the fire burning, add more fuel to – this problem that causes you pain.
Oooo, the ego hates that. Mine sure does! But, telling ourselves the truth is part of stopping the problem and the pain. It’s how we shine a light on it, wake up ourselves up and change our story.
5. Column 4: If you really want to stop the pain, you’ll now fill in column four with at least one way you can stop creating pain in each area. I.e., stop adding to the problem; stop keeping it alive; stop feeding the Problem Monster.
“When you create a problem, you create pain. All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision: No matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems.”
~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose and on CD
When we give up our part in any problem, and become the solution, we get to change our story.
A great resource for story changing is Byron Katie’s Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life